Workplace curiosity in management
Every month or so one of our HR reps sends out these "management tips" that contain a relevant article. Most of the time I skim the summary and then delete the email, but this month curiosity got the better of me.
The article forwarded was titled "Curious but"... not really, by Julie Winkle Giulioni.
It caught my attention because I'm sure I've used phrases that start with "I'm curious..." when talking to employees. I'm not sure if I've used them in a similar context described in the article, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did.
“Curious, but…” – What it really signals
The phrase “I’m curious, but…” tends to show up in conversations where there’s tension between a leader’s desire to be open and their instinct to stay in control.
- “I’m curious, but have you considered the risks?”
- “I’m curious, but didn’t we already try this?”
- “I’m curious, but how would that even work?”
The article suggests instead of using "but", change it to "and" while also making the question more open-ended and actually in a curious manner. One of the examples given is "I'm curious — and I'd love to hear more about how you got there." Going further I'd probably get rid of the "I'm curious" part entirely, but it did remind me of a recent discussion with an employee I had late last year.
The employee forwarded a requested revision to a sales booking that I myself wouldn't have asked for; it amounted to a minor change that made no difference to the booking as a whole, and was a waste of time for the sales rep. Just now I looked at my original question and I remember writing "I'm curious" but it turns out I didn't. Either way, how I worded the question resulted in the same tone:
Other than aesthetic purposes, are there other reasons you’re thinking of?
In the same manner suggested by the article, the question suggested that I've already judged my employee to be wrong. Actually in the line above that question I already stated that I wouldn't have asked for that specific revision. What I should have done is ask,
Hey, could you let me know why you asked for this revision?
I still think that looks a bit "judge-y" but it would have been better if I led with this and left my opinion out of it entirely. Out of curiosity (ha!) I searched through my Teams conversations to see if I used the "I'm curious, but..." phrasing, and I'm happy to see that as far as I can tell, I've used it in the correct context (e.g. "I'm curious about this and want to look into it" and not questioning the employee). However I try to be careful in my workplace interactions and make sure I'm not coming off as judgmental or making assumptions.
Another thing I'll keep in mind for the future.