The Imaginary Things Holding You Back
I enjoy writing week notes because it allows me to put together a round-up of my week: what I've created, how I'm doing (physically and mentally), pieces of media I've consumed, that sort of thing. I had a conversation with Alexandra where she mentioned she doesn't see the need to write week notes because of how she blogs - and that makes total sense for her. I write my week notes on my website as opposed to my blog because I'm also using them to highlight what I'm doing on a weekly basis as opposed to constantly updating my now page.
But this isn't about my week notes, at least not directly. I bring it up simply to mention that I edit the notes as I go through the week. Sometimes that makes the notes read a little funny, as I reference something that's happening during the week as it happens...so when it comes up at the start of a new week it's a little out of place. But that's the way I like writing them. I wrote this in my upcoming notes:
Still trying to get the hang of having a "free" Sunday after ending the podcast with my brother. There are things I want to do - record my own podcasts, build models, do puzzles, general tinkering...but I haven't started anything yet. I'm possibly putting imaginary pressure on my shoulders and that's what's holding me back.
I'm sure I've written about this before - easy enough to peruse my #creativity tag. But putting pressure on oneself to perform in any capacity is a topic that has a never-ending supply of material.
I thought some more about that paragraph. The pressure I mentioned has more to do with potentially recording podcasts more-so than finishing a model or working on a puzzle, of course. But why the self-inflicted pressure?
I think it comes from thinking about XYZ project for too long. Maybe at the start of the week, I think about all the things I could work on during my free time on Sunday. Regardless of what it is, there's ~6 days of lead-up to the actual day to put all these thoughts into it. So there is a build-up of anticipation, of looking forward to working on this thing - whatever it is.
When the day finally comes, it might feel overwhelming - where do I start? Shoot, I didn't write some of the things down - will I remember everything I wanted to do? What if it's not perfect?
Logically, there are some easy answers to these questions.
- Where do I start? Anywhere, it doesn't matter. Pick a direction and Go.
- Will I remember everything I wanted to do? Probably not! There are many blog posts I've written where I remember something after the fact that I wanted to include, but forgot. It's okay, move on.
- What if it's not perfect? It doesn't have to be. Perfect is the enemy of the good.
Yes, logically, these are sound answers. But often times our brains (mine especially!) don't respond to logic when it comes to passion projects.
Interestingly, when I was working on my Random Colour Contrasts page, I didn't worry about perfectionism or where to start. I knew what I wanted to see on the screen, and had a plan for it (plain HTML with some CSS), and executed it. I tried a few different methods and wound up with what some people may not see as the most efficient way of doing it, but for me it gets the job done.
So why can't I do this with my other projects? Is it because I'm too close to them, working too long on them? Do I need to start fresh with something new?
I'm not sure. But I'm going to have to try not to think too much on starting something new, lest it become another abandoned project.
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