Pain, Back
Sunday
We went out for nearly 6 hours on the boat. It was a beautiful day, and we caught 9 fish - perfect for dinner, plus extra for my sister-in-law's boyfriend to take to his family. But the seats on the boat are not exactly built for proper sitting or posture; when you're out there for that long, and you have reoccurring back pain, something's likely to go wrong. For as long as we're out there, though, nothing goes wrong.
It's when we're off the boat where things start to feel off. We're back at the house, and the left side of my lower back - definitely the muscle, not the spine - is a little uncomfortable. Walking isn't quite right, but there is some noticeable discomfort. Maybe it'll go away in a few hours. For now, best to lie down to not aggravate it. A bit of rest and it's okay for the rest of the day.
Monday
Pain - a lot of it. It's hard to move without pain across my lower back; this time it's both left and right sides, and in the middle. Standing straight is pretty much out of the question - sitting down straight is nearly as difficult. I hope again the pain subsides and goes away within an hour or so. I lie down, this time with a pillow under my back to apply some pressure. The pain is not as bad, and now I can at least stand up and move around. Sitting down still not as easy, but bearable.
I decide to take my dog for a walk, to test things out. We'd like to get out of the house and move around, so being able to walk is fairly important to that goal. I attempt the walk but it's more of a shuffle; my regular stride stretches my back too much and it hurts. So I shuffle. In order to keep my back straight and control of my dog, I compensate with the rest of my muscles. My neck and trapezoid are incredibly tense, a cascading effect from my lower back. I walk far enough to make sure my dog does her business in an inconspicuous spot so that I don't need to pick it up, because bending down in any capacity is not going to be possible. I hope that no other dogs come by because mine is leash reactive, and I don't think I could handle controlling her while she freaks out.
But as the morning proceeds my back gets better, and I can move more comfortably. Seems as good a time as any to go out and tend to our errands and some light shopping. We stop by my wife's aunt's house to pick up some things. We don't stay long, so we stand around instead of sitting. The longer I stand, the more the left side of my lower back starts to tense up again. I'm in some minor pain but I can handle it. It's fine. But when we go back to the car pain shoots up my back as I sit down. There's not much I can do - we have to get in the car to drive to where we need to go. I push through it, and the pain goes away again, eventually.
As the day moves on the pain is gradually dissipating. It becomes much easier to move around, and standing around to cook at the BBQ is alright. I sit down more often than I normally would, but that's okay, I can handle it. There's still a little soreness in my back when it's time for bed, so I take some advil and set out to go to sleep.
Tuesday
It's the middle of the night. I have to get up to use the washroom. As I lie down there's still that slight discomfort in my back. But when I get up, pain. Incredible pain. I move as quickly and quietly as I can to the washroom but I'm hunched over again, unable to do more than a shuffle. I have to sit down, as standing up is too painful. It's just as painful to sit down on the toilet, and I can't straighten my back here either, but it's my only option. I make my way back to the bedroom - luckily it's right across from the washroom, so not a far walk. Nobody else is awake, so I have to figure out how to reduce the pain, and get back into bed. I roll up a towel and put it beneath my lower back. Surprisingly lying down this way results in the pain disappearing, back to that slight discomfort. I can get back to sleep.
Waking up hours later the pain is back - but not to the degree of when I woke up. I can walk at a pace just above the Monday shuffle. We're traveling, about an 8 hour drive, so I want to try to get as close to "normal" as I can. Sitting down for hours at a time is not going to do anything to fix my back. Predictably I'm uncomfortable for the entire time we're driving - luckily I'm in the passenger seat for the first leg. We stop twice and I'm able to walk and stretch out, in an attempt to stand up straight. It works for the most part.
By the time it's my turn to drive, my back is better. Not great by any measure, but better is better. I hope that it continues to improve because we're supposed to play softball at 6:30pm the same night. I do get better, and I can move at a somewhat normal pace, with some minor discomfort. Good enough for me to play.
The game starts with me at third base - I was hoping for first base, because it requires a little less movement. I'm tested early - the throw to first base stretches my back, and it's not comfortable. Later on, I get to make a throw to home plate. Much better - I don't need to twist my body to throw across the diamond. I make the out on both plays, but throwing home is significantly easier. Hitting...I'm not sure how that will work out.
But I hit a double right off the bat. Running is more uncomfortable than making that throw to first. The batter after me gets me to third base, and there's an overthrow at first. The third base coach tries to send me home but I'd need to twist from the direction I was running and go home. That wasn't going to happen, I could feel the muscle stretch uncomfortably. I eventually make it home - I'm able to jog and not hurt myself.
As the game goes on my back starts to feel better. I'm stretching it out. Normally I try to get good hits, but tonight I don't care if I hit some easy flyouts. And I do - a foul-out (we are automatically out if we hit a foul ball after 2 strikes), and a fly ball to first. But in my last at-bat I hit a solid single and eventually come around to score. Running is easier by then. At the end of the game I'd say I'm a good 70%. Much better than the 0% earlier that morning, and probably 40% in the first half of the day.
Wednesday
The discomfort is still there. I start out slightly hunched over but straighten out fairly quickly. My strides are definitely shorter than normal, and as I'm at work it takes some effort to hide the back pain so that people don't ask further about it. I don't really want to talk about it - I don't need people's sympathy, or my older co-workers telling me to be careful.
The thing is - I can't do anything about this back pain. Yes, sure, I know that I need to be careful when I'm doing things like weeding the garden or working on my bike, or lifting things. I am careful when it comes to that. But when it comes along because (and I'm assuming this is the case) I'm sitting on a seat on the boat and fishing? When 9 times out of 10 nothing happens afterward? I don't know how I'm supposed to be careful then. So I don't want to hear the lectures.
Especially when I've had these problems ever since my first seizure in November 2019, when I hit my back during the seizure. So now I just deal with it. It usually goes away within a day or so; I know myself enough that if it's longer than that I'll go see a doctor. But in my experience by the time I see a doctor about some pain, it gets better by the time I can actually get an appointment. So I wait it out.
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