Mental Fog
This week I feel a bit of a mental fog, some haziness sitting over my head. Yesterday it was feeling overwhelmed while at the same time also feeling in control. Monday was...well Monday was my EEG and I enjoyed a day off that was only partially boring.
I know it's only Wednesday and there's plenty of week left to go, but I'd like to get to the bottom of this. The only way I can think of doing so is to write - so that's why I'm here. I'm sorry if you were expecting a well-crafted article, but this ain't it.
There hasn't been a ton of things on my mind; I mean there's the ever-present worry of money, but there are a few things in motion that I think will take care of that. It's just hard not to think about. But I don't think that is what is bothering me.
Thinking further, my epilepsy essay project popped into my head. At the start of every week I write out a to-do list for things I would like to do during the week, and this week one of the things I wrote:
Start planning for 12-week essay project
Gosh, what a nebulous action item. What am I planning? How am I supposed to plan it? Shouldn't I have an end goal to plan towards? As I mentioned in my 2024 resolutions I would like to complete a first draft manuscript of the essay book this year. But is that the end goal of my first 12-week plan? Just the thought of it is a bit overwhelming.
Hmm, there it is. I think that's what is giving me that overwhelmed feeling and a bit of mental fog (probably more of the overwhelmed feeling than anything else). The easy solution is to drop the project altogether. But that's something I almost always do - either I lose interest in it, or it becomes too difficult, so I drop it.
I can't say I've lost interest in the project, I think I've just lost sight of it. It's been a few months since I've even looked at the idea and I don't know where to pick up the pieces again. This is one of the projects I want to get to before I go crazy and start something else, and forget about this one (again).
Perhaps...and this is just thinking out loud, not any sort of plan or promise of a plan...one thing that could help is documenting my progress. I tried this last year, and it sort of helped. I think just as I moved my weight loss progress updates to private notes, I would probably do that in this case too.
Less mental fog. OK. Maybe I'll get working on some of this tonight.