I Used to be Young
Excuse me for borrowing your song title, Miley. Last weekend I was hanging out with a couple of my best friends, one of which I hadn't hung out with in a long time. He queued up an audio file I created almost 20 years ago - a highlight reel I put together of a radio show we collectively hosted when they visited me while I was living out of town. My friend - who had it on his phone - said he listens to it often. It's only about 3 minutes so I believe him. I wish I had the raw audio that I used to put it together, but it's long gone from several dead hard drives.
But the production level in the reel - looped audio, somewhat seamless edits of our voices - it reminded me that not even 15 years ago I was having fun producing various bits of audio that I don't do anymore. I edit a podcast that I host with my brother, but that doesn't amount to much more than editing out coughs and dropping in some music beds. Usually doesn't take much longer than half an hour if everything goes smoothly in the recording process.
I wish I could get back to doing that. That seems like a silly sentence though; there's nothing stopping me except a willingness to carve out time to do it. It's probably more accurate to say: I wish I still had the desire to do the kinds of things I enjoyed when I was in my 20s.
Is it a natural thing to stop doing the things we love? Or that some of the things we love become less important as we discover new things as we age? I also wonder if it's "natural" to be looking back on this kind of thing as you get into your 40s. I only turned 40 this year - but as late as last year I started a CD listening project of albums I have sitting on my shelf. I'm not done yet, by a long shot, by the way.
Maybe my recent surge into playing video games again is the gateway to getting back into some of the things I used to do a lot. I just downloaded a handful of rosters for MLB The Show 161 that I'm going to load up and mess around with. I've been enjoying Need For Speed Hot Pursuit and playing some of the most fun and challenging games of NHL Legacy I've ever had since buying the game. Maybe I can channel that fun energy into audio production again? Maybe also get back to learning photography as was my plan 6 months ago, too.
I can't help but feel like this is a mid-life crisis type of thing that a lot of people go through, but at the same time maybe it's that I'm finally realizing that I should stop jumping from idea to idea and get back to the roots of what makes me happy (other than my wife, of course).
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I talked myself out of buying a copy of MVP Baseball 2005. I have been enjoying The Show lately and I feel like I might be disappointed comparing MVP to how I remember it to be.↩